Becoming a Mindful Leader -- Matt McLaughlin of Elustra Coaching | Episode 5

In this transformative episode of HEART2CORE, Emanuel delves into the realm of mindful leadership with esteemed guest, Matt McLaughlin, founder of Elustra Coaching. With a focus on guiding leaders towards greater self-awareness and conscious decision-making, McLaughlin brings a wealth of experience and insight to the conversation.

Throughout the episode, listeners are treated to an engaging dialogue that explores the essence of mindful leadership and its profound impact on both individuals and organizations. Drawing from his extensive background in executive coaching and personal development, McLaughlin shares practical strategies and illuminating anecdotes that illustrate the transformative power of mindfulness in leadership.

From the importance of cultivating emotional intelligence to the role of empathy in effective leadership, McLaughlin offers invaluable guidance for those seeking to elevate their leadership capabilities and foster more harmonious and productive work environments. Through authentic storytelling and thought-provoking insights, this episode inspires listeners to embark on their journey towards becoming mindful leaders, capable of fostering positive change and meaningful connections in today's fast-paced world.

Tune in to HEART2CORE Episode 5 as Matt McLaughlin and Emanuel share the path to mindful leadership, offering wisdom and inspiration for leaders at every level of their journey.

To learn more about HEART2CORE, visit us at https://heart2core.com

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Transcript

When you build that trust,  you open up an environment where that's where the one on one work can come in really, really well because, you know, we can dive into that on an individual basis and really start to pull that apart, tease it apart and look at other ways of looking at the situation that might open up possibilities we didn't see before or, you know, or an entire new way of being, I think it's really a matter of getting clear on the change that you want to make and, and where you want to be over a certain period of time.

And that can be a matter of setting out very clear goals or, really getting clear on values. 

Hi everyone. Thank you for tuning into another heart to core episode where we really explore concepts to really experience our true potential. Today we have Matt. First and foremost, introduce yourself, tell the world who you are and what you do. My name's Matt McLaughlin. I'm the founder of Illustra Consulting  and I work with leaders, entrepreneurs, and solopreneurs who are looking to make a difference in the world. 

Increase their impact on people, planet and profit. I do this through leadership coaching where I bring in a mix of  tips and best practices along with a high degree of mindfulness, self awareness.  growth.  Tell us what other specializations do you cover when dealing with clients, for illustra consulting?

There's really two main groups. One are leaders who are, uh, their, their company may have maybe going through some rapid growth or they're entrepreneurs, they've just got some funding and while they've had a great idea to. To bring an impact business into being, they may be struggling with stepping into a leadership role.

And that's where I can come in and help them assess where they are. And, uh, it start with some best practices around  communication, delegation, roles and responsibilities. And then, um, we can even go deeper into, uh, I work a lot with self confidence and executive presence, um, imposter syndrome. Is the popular popular term?

Um, and so that's one set of clients. And the other tend to be people who are exploring what's next. A lot of people over the last few years have gone through a little bit of a transformation where they've realized the traditional job of, you know, going into an office or even if they're doing remote work, it's really not doing it for them. 

And people are really looking to live and work from a deep set of values and purpose. And I can help people discover that purpose, get clear about it, and then take the steps towards building that, that life or profession that Answers their call. You've touched on  those wanting to step into a more leadership role, especially as entrepreneurs.

So that's no easy feat. One being able to understand when to delegate and also really comprehend what that entails and the what next part. Wow, that's amazing. Matt. I'm looking forward to hearing more about what you have to say when it comes to those really wants wanting to explore what what next.

Experience a career trajectory and really, uh, fully map out what it takes to get there. So I appreciate you sharing, uh, an overview on that as well.  Explain or describe that moment, uh, that you had at that moment of realization of wanting to become and step into that position of leadership, really stepping into a position of, of human servitude.

And what were the steps you took to get there? I think it all started,  uh, probably around the late nineties. Um, I was just really starting to take off in my marketing career, uh, working for a. com super high growth, a lot of high pressure, and I started having anxiety attacks and, and panic attacks to the point where I really didn't want to leave the house, um, and, uh, started doing some work with, with a therapist there and,  um, came across meditation that really opened my eyes.

I mean, one, it. It was the single best thing I could do for the stress and anxiety I was facing, but I also got really curious and okay. So where did this meditation come from? What's behind it all and started to explore Buddhism and I've been studying and practicing Buddhism now for 20 years  and what occurred to me way back then 25 years ago  was.

Trying to understand how we could bring some of that into the workplace, where ultimately we can use our careers, our work, the people that we interact with every day as a path for personal growth. And, uh, you know, in that sense, we can look at those obstacles and challenges as. Um, ways to stretch our muscles and and deepen into who we really are and our authentic presence.

Um, and it took a few years  for me at that point to, uh, kind of explore and and find some courses where  this material was was being spoken about, taught and brought into being, um, I did some work at Naropa University on their authentic leadership program  and, uh, then found myself. As a facilitator and coach for sounds, Drew's inner MBA program  and, you know, at this point, I'm working with like thousands of people every year on  incorporating a lot of these mindful conscious practices into everyday business.

And, you know, helping leaders create the kind of cultures where people can feel like they're, they're speaking to their, to their values and their purpose when they come to work every day.  That's phenomenal. I think I'm beginning to explore the art of integration. Both practices when it comes to mindfulness and also navigating the workplace at the same time in my, in my sphere, in my professional sector.

So, um, I think it is, it is an art in and of itself, but also a true practice. So if you can  kind of share a couple of steps to, for, for our audience to really integrate those two components into the workplace, what would those I think the first is. A regular mindfulness practice and, and there's, uh,  plenty of guided meditations out there, um, where you're focusing on your breath.

You, you notice your mind wandering and you bring your attention back to your breath over and over and over. And the idea there is to start to.  Develop that skill of recognizing you're having a thought or an emotion and that your attention is wandering being okay with that thought or emotion, but then coming back to the present.

So it's a matter of saying, okay, I'm feeling really, uh, somebody across the table said something that's got me a little charged. You know, I'm feeling this flush of anger.  That's fine. But I don't have to engage in that. I can choose what to do. Um, and and mindfulness, even 5 or 10 minutes a day, 5 days a week will, um, will give you that that ability over time.

And then the next big trick, I think, is recognizing those triggers that we all have. Um, and and that could be. Knowing that you're going into a situation that causes you some stress. Maybe you don't like giving presentations or you have to give some feedback like to your boss or something, you know, really charged and then feeling those feeling into those physical sensations and recognizing them and using them kind of like it's an early warning system to say, okay, I'm, I'm going into a charged.

Situation for me, this is something that I've had difficulty with. So let me take a, take a few deep breaths before I go into the meeting room or whatever it is, and just kind of calm down and and step into the present. And I think those 2 are. Really the key to starting to develop that self awareness and learning how to work with your own emotions and thoughts. 

Why is it so important to engage in this level of mindful practice so that we can develop that sense of self awareness? So we're not sabotaging our experience in life and the professional workplace. That's exactly where Mindfulness can come in, so you can start to observe  what's going on in your mind on a, on a daily or minute to minute basis of what, what are those thought patterns that I'm having?

What's, um,  you know, again, I mentioned what are the triggers? What's, what are, what are the, the things I'm seeing come up over and over. And with that, you can start to get a sense of where you're holding yourself back.  Self sabotage is really interesting because it's engaging in or not engaging in an action that will take you closer to your goal.

So you're, you're working against yourself, but there's always a hidden agenda in there. Like, in some way. You're protecting something, or there's something you're afraid of to move into, or, um, there's a belief there that, you know, an assumption or something like that. And that's where the 1 on 1 work can come in really, really well, because, you know, we can dive into that on an individual basis and really start to pull that apart, tease it apart and look at other ways.

Of looking at the situation that might open up possibilities we didn't see before or, uh, uh, or an entire new way of being  When I think of gossip, I also think of groupthink  What's the best approach to evading groupthink and also? Experiencing a best case scenario for collaboration in the workplace I think the you know, google did a study a few years back on it was the aristotle project They surveyed all of their teams all over the world  To try to find out what was behind the most successful ones. 

And the number one thing was psychological safety.  So, if the team members feel safe.  That they're not going to be ridiculed or made fun of, or, you know, know that they're going to be listened to. That's the number 1 thing to build a productive team. And I think it starts with that. So, when you, when you build that trust,  you open up an environment where people can disagree safely and productively, they can explore ideas that  You know, maybe maybe, you know, in a less trusting team,  people don't want to go out on a limb.

They don't want to stick their neck out. They don't want to, you know, be be voluntold to to do something when they have an idea. So,  um, I think I think it's it all comes back to that. That sense of trust. Um, Patrick Monsione did, did some amazing work around that too, where,  um, he posits that trust is really the foundation of a pyramid. 

And, and that's the, the, the biggest thing you need to build a successful team. You can't, you can't go forward without that.  Tell us Matt for Our audience, anyone really dealing with a level of difficulty breakdown, um,  or really experiencing a level of awakening and really wants to explore their next steps towards becoming a social conscious leader.

Um, what, what first key steps would you provide to anyone again, either experiencing breakdown or wanting to become a better person? I think it's really a matter of getting clear on. The change that you want to make and where you want to be over a certain period of time, and that can be a matter of setting out very clear goals or really getting clear on values or  engaging in a lot of self awareness to really understand where. 

Where that breakdown is happening and, um, or or where that changes that you need to make, uh, and and that's  from there. You can start to explore  what's holding you back. What's in the way of this change? Or what? What are the growth areas that you need to lean into?  And that's a very, very individual process. 

You know, that's, there's really no, um, overarching answers or ways through that, but it, it really does come down to  being very clear setting specific steps for yourself and, um, engaging in that with self awareness. And, you know, you mentioned compassion, that's  probably 1 of the biggest things, the keys to it is to hold that compassion for ourselves.

When we're, when we're going through a, a breakdown of some kind or a challenging situation that, um,  we hold ourselves with that compassion. And I think from there, we, that can kind of soften the ground and make things a lot more workable.  I still experience a battle with, with showcasing compassion, not only to myself, but to others.

So that's why I do, I developed this, this initiative so that I can. Engage with, uh, subject matter experts such as yourself to really give me not only, uh, best practice or share with me best practices, tools, techniques, and also a level of accountability because I, I try to hold myself accountable for, um, my thinking, thinking traps and behavior.

So, I mean, at, at, at the end of the day, we're all humans, but there's also that. Space for growth and growth area. So, speaking of which, Matt, um, you have an exercise that you can share with us, um, to give the learner an opportunity to map out goals in those specific growth areas and opportunities. Um, I think the 1st, you know, I mentioned. 

What the goal is, you know, being really clear on that goal. And  I go back to the smart goal model. That's that's been used forever. Specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time bound.  So, as best you can, if you can state the goal with with those in mind, like, how, what is it. That I want to achieve. How will I know when I've achieved it? 

What's the time frame and is this relevant to what I'm trying to do? And and when you can really narrow that down, that gives you the starting place. Okay. Now we've got a clear idea of where we are.  The 2nd step is to look at  what are the steps we need to get there. So how do we close that gap?  And. That can be, um,  very often it's like looking at little, little safe steps we can take to start to lean into that to start to test some of the assumptions or beliefs we have that have held us back from that.

Um, and with those little tests, we, we need to consciously  get out on our growth edge at, like, if it doesn't feel a little uncomfortable, you're not, you're not leaning in enough. Um, there needs to be a little sweat in the game for for real change and learning and and development. Um,  and then I think it's really important to then  make some time for yourself to reflect on that, you know, journaling or, uh, just speaking out loud with a friend or or a listening partner, um, to to sort of process that.

What did you learn from it? What  what's still there? What what's starting to unfold or or what wants to emerge next?  And I think it's a matter of really just repeating that, that process until you've  You've gotten where you want to go, or you decide that, that you need to go in a different direction. 

Sometimes when doing that level of work, building best practices to, uh, enhance our overall self awareness, sometimes I've actually experienced like, Hey, I think I'm pretty good where I'm at. Uh, why, why try to reach and, and figure out next steps? Why not just enjoy the moments? Right. And then I kind of bask and savor the moment and say to myself, okay, I think I've done enough work to really now.

Stretch myself for that next, uh, opportunity or next next milestone or journey. Yeah, that's that's a really interesting  kind of dichotomy there where, um,  a lot of the mindfulness practice. It's all about being in the moment and ultimately realizing that who we are and where we are is perfect.  We're there.

We're. We're in the moment and,  um, there's a beauty to that. There's like a crystal clear sense of, um, you know, flow. If you play music or paint or go jogging,  you kind of drop into that. You lose sense of time and space and you are immediately in the present  at the same time. Yeah, I think  the idea of reaching then for a goal from that space.

That's where you can consciously look at it and say, okay, is this the right thing for me? Is this where I want to invest my time and energy? Um, and then you can come back to that.  Sense of being in the present to Reflect on what it is you're doing and where you want to go Yeah, 100. I can always attest to that.

But again, I know that it takes takes a  a deep level of work or inner work to really develop that sense of awareness, um to  enjoy the uh, not only the state of flow but also really the basking in stillness without Worrying too much about, um, roles, responsibilities or life as a whole  for, uh, those wanting to transition into a role of leadership or really just wanting to become a mindful leader, whether that's in the workplace or really just in life in general, wanting to embody that sense of mindful leadership.

Uh, what are some of the best practice practices that you'd like to share? For them to partake in to really embody that sense of leadership, especially for those who have that convert hunger or crave, uh, uh, that increase of impact for people, profit and the planet, as you've mentioned before. Yeah, yeah, I think, um, well, as I mentioned, the, the, the basic mindfulness practice is really the, the ground for it all and, um, it doesn't have to be sitting on a cushion.

There's, there's ways to do it when you're walking or jogging or, um, you know, but some kind of conscious practice where you're, you're building that muscle of observing what's going on in your mind. Kind of objectively. Um, I think that's, that's really where it starts and for someone new to leadership, that can be a little intimidating because you're,  you're watching your mind.

And as you do that, you're, you're absolutely going to become more aware of. Yeah. All of the other stuff, the, um, I'm not good enough. I'm not ready for this. I don't, you know, I, I don't know how to be a leader. My team doesn't respect me. So you're going to notice all that stuff and you need to have a way of processing that.

And there's, um, there's ways of kind of deconstructing that asking yourself. Okay. Once you've identified the thought, maybe it's, I don't have enough experience.  What do you know about that thought? That's true.  What do you know about that thought? That's false. And what's another way of looking at it?  And you can journal on those.

So,  okay, I don't have enough experience. What's true?  Well, it's true. I'm I'm new as a leader here.  What else is true?  I've been doing the job for for 10 years or whatever, or I'm, you know, super knowledgeable in my field. I was promoted. My boss believes in me. These are all the other parts are true.  Then we look at what's false about that.

I don't have enough experience. Well, you've got that 10 years of doing what you did, and maybe you, you've worked in management before, or you've, um, you know, led a volunteer organization or something like that.  So, okay, let's, let's start to open up that assumption a little bit by looking at this. And then what's another way of looking at it?

I don't have enough experience.  It could be okay, this isn't this is a growth opportunity.  This is an area where I can lean into my, my experience doing the job, not as a manager. And  what are the opportunities for me to grow here?  Um, so  we can kind of take those self critical self limiting beliefs and and and start to play with them a little bit.

See what else is in there. How can we  reframe those? It may just be a matter of. Turning a few words around and and looking at what it is we're telling ourselves.  And I think that's a natural progression as you start to become more self aware and start to work with, um, kind of those those self imposed limitations. 

That's why I believe this inner work to experience that level of excellency will allow us to. See those repeating patterns in order to say, okay, now I've learned from this. Why am I repeating this, this specific scenario now, let me move on to the next step. And I think that will open up the door to the next  level of experience.

If you want to call it that in life and or, uh, a professional journey.  Yeah, yeah, I think it's.  It's interesting because when you're in that kind of stuck  job, say, say a job that, you know, you should leave,  you do need to lean in and take those steps. So,  um, that can look like.  You know what? What I was talking about earlier, like little steps into it.

Maybe it's a side hustle that you start up while you're still working your job or,  um, you start to open up ways to express those values and purpose and other ways. And eventually it's like a hole in a wall, you know, there's water behind it and  you make a little tiny hole. And as you do, it gets bigger and bigger because the water starts flowing and the energy is like that.

So when you start taking those steps forward into your true purpose.  Doors are going to open and, and stuff's going to happen. So  you do need to take action at the same time.  We can be comfortable in the present and, um, realize that, that there is a certain perfection in, in where, in who we are right now as well. 

I think that level of, um, conscientiousness will, uh, allow us to be just, uh, happier in the role we are today. And then  that'll enable us to, uh, accelerate. And the next experience that we'd love to partake in again, whether that's life, professional journey or so on. That's that's the way I see it nowadays.

Whereas before I would linger in my own negative thoughts and wanting to overreach as opposed to stretching myself for new opportunities and new skills and you, uh, or or experience a level of growth mindset. So that's the way I see it today. It's interesting that. Yeah. You can hold that  perfection in the present moment and still look towards growth.

And I think the key is to not have a sense of, like, there's something deeply flawed about myself, or I'm not good enough right now. I need to be better. I need to do more. I think that can be really counterproductive. But, but when it's a sense of,  I want to become this, I want to, embody this or, um, stretch myself here.

You know, you, you mentioned growth mindset and I, that's so important. It's so important to want to do that, but from a place of realizing that we're already perfect.  So Matt, uh, tell us how can one fine tune their inner compass to best navigate life in the utmost of ways, meaning, uh, through inner excellence. 

I think it comes down to intention and, and Understanding what it is we're really trying to do. Um, you know, very often we can get caught in chasing  false goals or goals that society is set for us or we're reacting from a place of fear or lack. And,  um, I think the trick there is to, to really see how we can work with that and, um, bring that intention of, um,  Um, wishing goodness and happiness for everyone to to what we do on a daily basis and our interactions are  our business purpose, our business impact  that can all come from that.

And that's a very powerful. Well, to tap into when you talk about core values, um, actually intention and being intentional with day to day. For me, it's one of my personal core values and also now my company's core value or one of them. I have six. Um, yeah. Do you have any personal core values that you'd like to share with us, whether it's in alignment with your personal life's journey or, uh, your company, uh, values?

Sure. I, I think it's, it really comes down to authenticity for me and  that  in, in one sense, yes, my interactions, the way I show up, the way I talk to people, um, I, I'm genuine. I don't. You know, I, I really strive to speak from the heart,  but there's also a sense of being authentic to myself and, um, not, not doing the work that I don't enjoy, um,  and pushing myself to be able to do the work that I really do enjoy.

So,  I think in that sense, it's, it's being authentic to what I'm being called to do to. To that inner purpose and inner compass, as you said, that's a big one for me personally. And also that's really where I start when I work with someone 1 on 1,  I'll call people out. I mean, if, if, if it's, uh,  you know, something that's blocking them or, or a realization or, um,  accountability, things like that.

There's an authenticity that I'll,  um, that I'll bring to that discussion.  And for me, that's, that's where it all comes from. I often talk about staying grounded, you know, and I know mindfulness practices help us do so. I mean, engaging in any level of physical activity, whether it's jogging, uh, you know, hiking, whatever the case is, what other practices can you share with us to really?

Keep us grounded to experience that level of  awareness and, uh, keeping us or, or really experiencing. I don't want to say keeping us in the present moment, but experiencing the overall present moment. I think you really kind of hit it, hit the nail on the head there with physical activity and, um,  a sense of embodiment and it, it.

It can be hiking. It can be,  uh, being outside in nature. It could be yoga practice. It could be, um,  playing a musical instrument. Even there, there's definitely some piece of it there. Um, but it's a sense of being in your own body and,  um, very often we get pulled into our heads and, you know, it's kind of funny over the last couple of years.

We've all been remote. Right. And we are literally disembodied heads on a screen.  We are so disconnected from our bodies and from the physicality of each other, um, that I, you know, I think anything we can do to, to bring ourselves into that physical presence can really help with that grounding. And, um, yeah, that, that could look like.

Intentional walking where, you know, maybe you're not listening to a podcast while you're walking, you just walk and  try to pay attention to how you're the sensation of your feet rolling on the pavement, or,  you know, the mountain breeze on a hike, um, you know, getting into those  really appreciating the senses, um, the slow food movement, taking time to cook and eat, um, really appreciating a song and, and kind of getting caught up with it.

All of those things can  really, you know, ground us in that physical sense.  Yeah, that's excellent. So experiencing the senses, that's, that's, you couldn't have said it better, uh, Max. Um, one thing that I like to bask in nowadays is scented candles, um, oil diffusers, just really just to, can have that, that level of experience.

I mean, we're here to experience life, right. And, and in the most sweetest of cases, um,  if you have Any words of wisdom or something that you really wanted to share with your younger version of yourself What would that be? Maybe your 18 year old self, you know, 2021 year old self, any words of wisdom or anything you'd like to tell that version of yourself?

Boy, that's going back a fair bit.  I think it's really about  trusting  in yourself, having the belief that  when you do, when you find work, yeah.  That comes from your heart that that that's the path to follow and  I think so many of us get caught up in the  the career that we have to have the the house the two cars you know all all of that um what is does that really do it for you and for some people it does that's fine um for some people it's  there's more there's something else and I think following you know Joseph Campbell said follow your bliss I think that's  That's probably the message I give myself and and also to have follow your bliss  and have the belief that it will be fine  Follow your bliss and know that it'll all be fine.

Okay, we have to write that down and make a print of it  That's that's phenomenal again. Sometimes we need those simple reminders  That'll help us shift perspective on a day to day basis So, excellent. Um, okay, Matt, um, as a lot of us that are in a exploring to, uh, self developmental work, anything that you'd like to say to your future version of yourself, I would want to remember that whatever it is that I went through, I needed to go through to get there.

So we don't always follow a straight path towards our goals, right? They wander. We deviate. We shift direction. We put things on pause and all of that happens for a reason. And I think it's really easy to look back and say, oh, I shouldn't have done that. Why didn't I, um, go in this direction sooner? Or, you know, why didn't I quit that job sooner or whatever it is? 

And we, we give ourselves a lot of crap for that. And I think we need to. Realize that's part of the path and, and that the, the sense of being in the present that we talked about earlier, that that's all part of it. So  we're here now. And what we did is what we had to do to get here, even if it seems a little weird in retrospect. 

So I would say, um,  cut yourself some slack when you're looking back on this and, and realize that this is all part of the rich journey that we're all here for.  Um, okay, Matt, any, um. Recommended resources that you'd like to share with our grander audience, books, music, films, uh, exercises, activities, uh, assessments, anything that you'd like to share with us.

That'll again, um, help us become the mindful leaders that we want to become for tomorrow. Yeah, I think there's  a couple books. Well, I got 3 books. Um, and I'm a book guy. You can probably tell. Um, the 1st book that really got me started on this was the 5th discipline by Peter Senge. And, and that was probably early 90s came out of MIT's Sloan School of business. 

And that was kind of the foundation for this. Sense of conscious, mindful business. Um, and there's some, there's some amazing work in there. Um, I'd say that's a great place to start.  Um, I mentioned Patrick Linceoni's 5 Dysfunctions of a Team. Um, that, that's another great book. It's an easy read, but really introduces the idea of, uh, uh, team building  and, uh, let's see.

Third book, I would say, 

oh, it's hard to pick a third. I have so many.  I would say  the untethered soul by Michael singer  is it would be a good one. Um, he really gets into that sense of  developing an impartial observer of what's going on in your mind and being able to watch yourself. Um, and it's very, very approachable. It's not. 

There's no religious dogma involved. It's, uh, it's just very plain and straightforward.  Matt, any, um, any calls to action for our members, for our audience? Where can people find you, your website, uh, any, anywhere that you'd like to direct our members so that they can get in touch with you? And maybe, uh, you know, reach out for some consultation.

Absolutely. My website is Illustra Consulting. That's E L U S T R A. Consulting dot com. Uh, you can go there. You can email me. It's Matt. M. A. T. T. at illustrious consulting dot com. I'd be happy to offer anybody from your program a free 60 minute session. We can sit down and  find that 1 big thing you want to work on and identify some clear steps for you to move forward.

So, uh, that that's. No obligation, 60 minutes. We can sit down and hammer something out. So Matt, uh, any last words, uh, that you'd like to share with our audience? Any words for wisdom or any, uh, goodbye notes? I think, uh, this has been such a wonderful talk.  I would say for everyone to look into yourselves and find that, that gem, that brilliance, that thing that  you do better than anyone else that, that you enjoy doing, that you want to do more than anything else.

And lean into that, bring that into your leadership, bring that into your work and your life. And the more you do that,  the more fulfillment you're going to find and the more growth and prosperity will come your way.